One of the many things separating humans from other species is the ability to communicate effectively with others. Originally, I imagine communication was very basic. One grunt meant, “I am hungry.” Over time it became important to convey just how hungry we actually were. Surely there was a difference between, “I am starving and on my last ounce of energy. Feed me before I collapse.”, and “ I am starting to feel hungry pains, but can go for a while longer before I will really need something to eat.”. Maybe it was the difference between one grunt and two. Today we use other descriptive words and adjectives. We might say, “I am starving.” or “I am kind of hungry.” .
Before I tell you where I am going with this, allow me another example. Take this test. A little boy has been playing outside. On a scale of 1-5 with 1 being the least, rate how dirty he actually is based on his mother’s different exclamation when he comes in the door.
“You are filthy.”
“You are a mess.”
“You need to clean up a little.”
“Come here and let me wipe your face before we sit down to eat.”
Assuming it is the same little boy, you would guess he either needs a long hot bath or a brief wipe of the dish cloth.
As we go through life, we all develop a style of talking. Some people view life in the extremes; things are huge not big, they are tiny not small, something never happens, something always happens. Seeing the same event or object, some will habitually underplay it, “The mountain wasn’t so big.” and others will overstate it, “The mountain was huge.”. “The pain in my stomach is severe versus I have a pain in my stomach.
Over time, our friends begin to understand how we express ourselves. They understand that when Tom says the fund raiser was a huge success, he means they made some money. When he says the event was an abysmal failure, he really means they lose some money. When Janice says watch your step, there are a few rocks ahead, everyone knows things are going to be perilous. It is all in the words we use.
“So,” you say, “what difference does it make? Why the big deal?
Before I tell you where I am going with this, allow me another example. Take this test. A little boy has been playing outside. On a scale of 1-5 with 1 being the least, rate how dirty he actually is based on his mother’s different exclamation when he comes in the door.
“You are filthy.”
“You are a mess.”
“You need to clean up a little.”
“Come here and let me wipe your face before we sit down to eat.”
Assuming it is the same little boy, you would guess he either needs a long hot bath or a brief wipe of the dish cloth.
As we go through life, we all develop a style of talking. Some people view life in the extremes; things are huge not big, they are tiny not small, something never happens, something always happens. Seeing the same event or object, some will habitually underplay it, “The mountain wasn’t so big.” and others will overstate it, “The mountain was huge.”. “The pain in my stomach is severe versus I have a pain in my stomach.
Over time, our friends begin to understand how we express ourselves. They understand that when Tom says the fund raiser was a huge success, he means they made some money. When he says the event was an abysmal failure, he really means they lose some money. When Janice says watch your step, there are a few rocks ahead, everyone knows things are going to be perilous. It is all in the words we use.
“So,” you say, “what difference does it make? Why the big deal?